As a plus size woman with a history of dieting and watching your weight, you're probably no stranger to the concept of keeping a food journal. Perhaps like me, just the mere thought of recording everything you eat leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth. After all when you think about all the times that you saw your binges written down in black and white, it's enough to turn the most confident gal to feeling shameful and out of control. I'd like to offer you a new way to look at this tool with new eyes because it really is the key to building your awareness, which will ultimately lead you to end your emotional eating. All you need to do to make a food journal work for you is to change your perspective.
Your biggest challenge to ending your emotional eating is not focusing more intently on the food you eat, its' being more willing to question the thoughts you think. In the world of dieting, we're raised to believe in absolutes and to avoid looking for the grays in life. And it's that tendency toward black and white thinking that sets us up for the next binge.
As a former dieter, I used to be obsessed with food. Everything about it turned me on so I devoted the large majority of my time to thinking about it. Recently I had a chance to look back into my past diet history and I learned some very useful information specifically about the value of journaling that could really help you.
But first here's a bit of my story describing what not to do and how not to use a journal.
Avoid the temptation to Be Obsessive in Your Record Keeping
Awhile ago I was cleaning my Brownie Room. (a room in my home where I used to host Girl Scout meetings for my Brownie troop) Looking through the bookshelves, I found lots of relics from my past dieting history. They included Weight Watchers (WW) food journals, the exercise sheets I followed when I met with my personal trainer, Rob, and various xerox copies of restaurant points tally sheets.
Among the clutter on the shelves, I also found a big binder, labeled, "Daily Journal." It stored the customized Microsoft Excel worksheets that I used to use instead of the Weight Watchers' journals.
Looking back and thinking about the time I spent recording what I ate, I couldn't believe how obsessed I was to have devoted so much attention to those silly journals in my pursuit of getting thinner.
Sad to say, but I remember spending an entire 8 hours on a Saturday searching the Weight Watchers' site looking for ideas for low points (low calorie, low fat, high fiber) dinner recipes. For years I was completely and entirely obsessed with Weight Watchers. I felt as though I needed their guidance every step of the way and I would surely fail without it. At one point, I came to the realization that I had to go to a meeting every day to get the support I needed.
So during those tough times, I rarely took a day off. On days following binges, I felt such a need to cleanse myself of the sins of the previous evening's overeating episode, that I would stand waiting at the door for my local WW to open. Talk about obsession. I surely had the corner on that market. In fact, I even found receipts from times when I was on camping vacations with the family in Allentown, PA, when I refused to allow myself to have a good time unless I began the weekend by attending a local Saturday morning meeting. For years my obsession with my weight and desperation to get thinner led me by the nose.
As I thumbed through some of the pages of my old Weight Watcher QuickTrak Diaries and WW My Journal Diaries, I was able to recollect what was going on any given day. In one case, I even noted that I wore a long denim dress and wrote the words, "post picklefest" at the top of the journal page, next to the date, 7/18/03 and my weight which was then only 155. I've since tossed out a ton of this type of memorabilia, but I've decided that I'm going to keep the items I found as a reminder to never again lose sight of myself in that way or let any of my blessings fall between the cracks because of focusing on nonsensical things like what I eat.
Pay Attention to How You Feel, and Write it Down
The key to using a journal successfully is to have a sense of balance and perspective about it. In addition to writing down the food you're eating, how much and when, pay close attention to any thoughts you're thinking and how you feel. I've learned that the answer to really controlling what you eat is to pay attention to your emotions. That way you can see the patterns that occur in your food choices.
You'll be more likely to recognize how you might have a tendency to rush for the chocolate every time you have an upsetting conversation with a family member or you would understand that when you're tired and cranky, that's when your spoon hits the bottom of the ice cream container. This awareness is what you need in order to be able to release yourself from the hold of unconscious eating.
You've got to know what your eating triggers are if you ever want to change them. And I don't mean putting the kabosh on certain foods. Just be aware of what's going on inside of you. That's the first step. If you spend more time exploring your feelings and thoughts, rather than feeling guilty about what you eat, you will be able to use journaling in a way that will empower you.
In part 2 of this series, I'll share with you more ideas for how you can make food journaling work for you, especially following a binge. And I pinkie promise you unlike the former weight watcher-y type of journaling you may have done in the past, there won't be a bit of judgment involved.
Want to learn more of my non dieting insights and find out how, you too can make peace with food and friends with your body? I'd like to invite you to join my Juicy Woman Yahoo Group. It's a free online discussion board, and a great place to feel and know that you're supported and appreciated, surrounded by the company of other juicy women just like you.
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